Ready to End the Envy? Loving Yourself (and Your Messy Instagram Feed)

This article was written by our writing leader Emily.  Get to know our Summer 2018 Leaders here!

Every single day, girls of all ages around the world spend countless hours scrolling through Instagram, Twitter, and Snapchat. Time with friends becomes something crafted specifically for the perfect post – from the location, to the pose, to the edit, to the caption, to the comments you told people to write. It can be fun to have that satisfaction of likes and a cute feed, but what happens when it just doesn’t feel good enough?

It’s become so incredibly easy and normal to see the perfectly primed girls on your feed and wonder why you can’t look like them, have their friends, and live their life. This can get at you to the point where you stop living your life for you, and instead start living for your followers. Sometimes taking a total break is necessary – but taking artsy photos and expressing yourself to the world is cool too! Your profile can be something you use to highlight your happiest moments, not something to box you in. How can you strike a balance?

Let go of the apps that basically give you plastic surgery.

Over-editing your face and fixing your body can make you feel like there are things wrong with you that you hadn’t even noticed before. Filters are one thing, but creating a new nose that will only make you mad at the real one in the mirror later, is another.

woman asian face editing editing software app facetune filter photoshop
Image: An example of a before-and-after editing job on a popular app called Facetune via

Post what you’re passionate about, not necessarily what looks good.

Be proud of your hobbies and show off your accomplishments. Creating a profile based off of your fiftieth duck-faced selfie where your lips started to hurt can start to feel like you’re not really representing yourself anymore. Love yourself for all of what makes you, you!

Break the rules.

The unspoken laws of social media etiquette can be constraining – you can end up judging not only yourself but others around you. Remember that it’s never as serious as it seems, and your voice doesn’t have to go through a filter – so what if each photo doesn’t have the perfect VSCO edit and your caption isn’t perfectly witty? Be creative, not conforming!

Kill (envy) with kindness.

Rather than looking negatively on yourself if you see a picture of someone else looking perfect, compliment them! Spark new friendships, and even say something you love about that person other than their appearance. It’ll make you, and the other person who likely shares your same insecurities, feel better.

Set some time for pictures, but not all of it.

If you’re going out and know you’re going to want to get a post out of it, figure out a spot or a time when you’ll get pictures so that you’re not stressing about it the whole time. It can be difficult to listen to your friends, enjoy a concert, or have fun at a fair, if you’re constantly waiting for the right moment to pull out your phone. Just make sure you leave room for the actual events!

party concert fans lighting confetti teens music
Image: Document the moment, but don’t forget to live it too. via Quora


Social media has become such a big part of everyone’s life. We can form connections with people across the world in seconds and showcase the best parts of us. Just be sure you have healthy strategies to deal with the struggles of social media envy to enjoy yourself instead of being sucked in.

Have you ever felt social media envy?  Comment below!  

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Feature Image Credit: Julian Gentilezza via Unsplash


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